Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Another year has passed. So much has happened. Our family has grown. There's a lot of excitement and changes. But the one thing that's the same, is you're not here. You're missing out on these things. And that still bothers me. I was never given the chance to say good bye. That still bothers me. I still get upset by that. I still think you should be here for us. And, this year, I am still on my mission to recap the year, and tell you everything you've missed!

January
January was the beginning of the baby year. We learnt that Faiza and Earvin were having another boy. (Thanks for that, by the way. Am pretty sure I asked you to pull some strings and give this family a cute little girl.) Haseena threw Rehanna and Scott a baby shower. They asked for books to start a library for the little one. You were on my mind an awful lot this month, so I bought the baby a book from you. I remember how much you loved to read to me, and talk about books and stories. I recall you especially like those true-touches-your-heart kind of books too. So this is the book I got them, from you. Hope it's ok.

So, in January, Donald Trump was sworn in as president of the United States. While I won't go into details about this, I thought I'd share with you, how much your stories, the stories of your family have influenced and shaped our lives. One of the first things that happened during Trump's first week, as a ban on Muslims from certain countries to enter the US. Because of this, many people were stranded in Canada. Karim opened his home to anyone who was stranded and needed a place to stay. If you click on his image, you'll see the article.

February

Back in September, Ethan auditioned for the primary school play. This is the first time since we've been back in Dar that the primary campus has put on a show. Ethan got the lead as Aladdin. There were three performances. He was great. Wish you were here to see it. Your grandson can sing! Not sure who he inherited that from. Mum came to watch the final show. We are all so proud.

On Friday February 24, baby Malik Abel Venzant made his grand entrance into the world. He was eager to meet everyone, and decided to come early (27 weeks).  

March

March 6th saw your niece become a grandmother. Your great niece become a mother. Rehanna gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Meet Khaled.

Shaheen came to visit mum this month as well. Mum took her for kebabs and they went to Zanzibar. One evening they saw an incredibly large star. They both say they felt you with them. Thank you for joining them in Zanzibar.

Did I mention how incredibly positive your niece Faiza is? She's amazing. Even Scott admires her positive outlook. In March, a month after Malik was born, someone asked Faiza how he was doing. Her response is beautiful;

"Malik is taking baby steps everyday and growing and learning to breathe on his own. He's got pouty lips and long limbs and I think after this start at life, he may be a future marathon runner. He works hard and paces himself and is in it for the long haul."

April

For the last 6 weeks, Ethan and 3 other classmates have been working hard at school. It's final X time. The students join into groups based on their passions, they come up with a central idea, lines of inquiry, they interview experts and research their topic. Ethan and his group looked into the performing arts. The final element of the PYPX is action. Ethan and his mates decided to put on a show at the Children's Cancer Ward at Muhimbili Hospital. Oh dad, you would have loved it. I hope you saw it. It made my heart melt. 

May

For the last few years, Ethan has been a part of the Little Theatre's Kids Rock production. He really enjoys it. This year was no exception. Once again, I helped out. This year I wrote the script and directed. But Ethan's the star. He's been taking voice lessons too. You can really see the improvement in this video.

May was also a great month for Faiza and Earvin. Thank you for watching over Malik. He came home this month. 

June
June brought the end of the school year. And this year, the end of the school year meant the end of an era. Ethan graduated from the PYP. Which means, come August, I will officially be the mother of a Middle Schooler! Yikes

July

Ethan turned 11 this month. Rasool and the family came for the weekend, and Rehanna and fam, and Nabeel and Emily joined us for his birthday breakfast. We called mum in the afternoon. You were greatly missed. 

July also meant Ethan returned to theatre camp. This year's production was Hairspray and Ethan played the role of Seaweed. 

While Ethan attended camp, I got some time on my own. 

One night, I dreamt of you. We went to the Cheesecake Factory, ate cheesecake and chatted. It was a weird dream, as we never went out for dessert. Not just the two of us. And there's no Cheesecake Factory in Toronto. (At least not yet). 

Then one day, I decided to stay in the Square One area, while Ethan was at camp. There's this dessert place across the street, and I've never been in. I decided to give it a try.

Well, I walk in and am greeted by the owner/manager. He reminded me of you. 

Then, as I look over the scrumptious menu, I noticed that some cheesecakes had a little asterisk. Looking down, I see that these cheesecakes are Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes. 

Well, needless to say, I have found my perfect spot. Thank you. 

I also made a point of leaving one bite behind, so you could have your piece.

If you remember, two years ago I applied to attend a summer program at Harvard. I applied again this past winter and got accepted. So July was an exciting month, ending with me returning to Boston. Registration took place in the Law School, and my study group was also there, so I'd like to say "I went to Harvard Law School"! This time around, I got to talk to a lot of faculty members, so it was incredibly exciting. 

And since it was the year of babies, we got to spend some time with some!

August

August means back to school. Ethan has moved to the secondary campus. Can you believe it? He's in middle school!

September

September was a month of Ethan being a risk-taker. First, he set off for a 3-day camping trip to South Beach. He had a great time. You can read about his adventure here. Later, he auditioned for a solo singing part in a music concert to be held next month. Unfortunately he didn't get it, and was utterly gutted, but if he hopes to pursue theatre, he's got to get use to rejection and take it as a learning moment. Hopefully he'll not let this disappointment steer him away from his passion.

September also marked Bahadur Papa's 80th birthday. While we missed the party, I thought you'd like a picture. 

October

October was steady. Ethan was enjoying school. I got some more hours, and am still enjoying it. We started Wednesday dinners with mum, but then I got involved in a play at the Little Theatre and had rehearsals, so we switched it to Sunday breakfast. 

As you may know, Minaz is our family environmentalist. I like to think we do a decent job with recycling and thinking about our planet, but she puts us to shame. In fact, she won Environmentalist of the Year! woohoo! You can see it all here. 

November

Ethan's had a few firsts this month. Who would've thought an 11-year old would experience firsts! But yes, he had his first Middle School dance (and got all dressed up) and his first G6 field trip. This year they headed to Zanzibar for a week. Five days. No phone allowed. Because of rehearsals, my evenings were busy, so it wasn't too bad, but am glad to have him back home. 

Ethan and Jaiden, heading to the dance.

Me, in one of the plays.

Ethan and Avery, back from Zanzibar

December

The month has just started, but already we know it will be an exciting one. Ethan has once again joined the Little Theatre's Pantomine production. Scott and I will go watch later this week. I'm really excited as I'm not a part of it this year, and have no idea what to expect. Except pure talent from Ethan.

Ethan in one costume. He apparently also plays a rat. 

Yesterday there was carol singing, to get us in the Christmas spirit. Ethan was asked to read a poem. That meant for 30 seconds, Ethan was in the spotlight. Of course he loved that. 

There's still so much more happening this month. The Nisbet clan is heading home this Christmas. First Canadian Christmas in 5 years. And then there's a whole new year ahead of us. But you won't be here. For any of that. 

I wish you were here.

But I know, even though you may not be here with us in physical form, you're with us in spirit. Please keep watching over us. It's good to know we have our own personal angel.

Love always,

One Year

November 28th, 2015

Dear Dad,

It's been a year since your accident. A year since I got the call to go to the hospital. A year since I last saw you. A year since I never got to say good-bye.

Yes, dad, I'm still angry. Not as much as before. But still angry that you left. But.... this is not a letter to yell and scream at you. No, this is me, your loving, yet ever-so sarcastic daughter (by the way, who did I inherit my sarcastic nature from? You are the complete opposite of sarcastic) here to let you know how you made a bad choice. By leaving us, you missed a whole lot of goodness that 2015 brought.

So where do I start? Go month-by-month and tell you what you missed each month? Or maybe I should bulk the great events? Well, while you were not a fan of crowds, you were always there for family, but this year, you missed out on some amazing events.

In May, Jamila got married. I know you got a chuckle out of her choosing the 23rd as her wedding day. I mean, I got married on her dad's birthday, so it's only fitting she got married on your birthday. I'll be honest, this one made me bitter. Mum felt she should be there, and I disagreed, but let's not argue about who's right (cos in case you've forgotten, I'm as stubborn as a mule). And while you missed out on a gorgeous wedding, Karima spent the day with mum. She took her shopping and they spend the day talking about you. Karima sent me this picture. She takes after you, and takes care of her family.

In August, Zahida got married. While we missed that wedding, Rasool went and kept mum company. I'm told it was a lovely wedding. And you missed it!

 October was the best though. The first great niece/nephew got married. Granted Rehanna is a niece not nephew, and she is your first great niece. She had a simple yet gorgeous wedding. Ethan and I made it there. I know how close you were to Shelina, she really could have used your support. But I was there. And Ethan had so much fun.

Speaking of which, here's another great you missed in October. Being in Canada with Ethan. Did you know he had never seen autumn colours before? He was in absolute awe at the colours and the leaves and the crunchy sound the leaves make when you walk on them. 

Oh, and before you go on thinking that that was the end of the year of weddings, well, you'd be wrong. In December Amin-Mohammed gets married. See dad. That's four weddings you missed out on. And four weddings where you were missed.

But weddings weren't the only thing that 2015 brought. There were babies too. 

Gulla and Mohammed gave Amira a little brother. And the best, is just this past week, Faiza had a gorgeous baby boy. Rashida aunty is a proud grandma to another grandson. There seems to be a lot of boys in this family!

Your grandkids have also had a great year. Ethan turned 9. We took him to Disney as part of his birthday. Hailey turned 2. She's quite the chatterbox. She knows her way around the condo too, which is quite cute to see. 

                                          

Now I know, that biologically these two are your grandkids, but let's be honest, you have two others. Imaan and Afraaz have grown and it's scary. They are no longer in boarding school in India. They are in Canada now. Afraaz is in Nova Scotia  and Imaan is in Toronto. 

Imaan would like you to see her new haircut.

While we're on the topic of grandkids and school, your great-niece Haseena is spending this year in Denmark. She got into an amazing Masters program. You'd be thrilled with her accomplishments. 

Karim, is still quite the character. I sometimes wonder if he and Ethan are in competition for funniest relative. He thinks it's very important that I share his newest tattoo (because he knows how much you loooove the ink)!

He says to tell you the birds can either be he, Aneez and Faiza,
or the 3 grandsons of Rashida Aunty.

You'll be happy to know, that your sister has cut him out of her will for this latest shenanigans.

Now, I should be honest, Karim isn't the only one to get a new tattoo. I got one too. It's a Lily of the Valley. Your birth-flower. The whole time I got it done, I wondered if it was an oxymoron to get a tattoo to commemorate you, while you were not a fan of them!

2015 was also a great year for me too. Guess where I went this summer? Boston. Well, to be honest, I didn't really see much of Boston. I spent most of the week in Cambridge. Harvard to be exact. Yes dad, your daughter spent a week at Harvard. I thought of you all week. I especially figured you'd come for the weekend, and we'd go the walking tour together. You would have loved that.

Canada also had a great year, or will have some great years ahead??? In October we voted in a new Prime Minister. There's a Trudeau back on the hill. The Harper years are over. And you're going to miss Trudeau2.0!

I know you can't come back. And as angry as I get, I'm also still sad. I miss you, dad. Everyday. I wish you'd stayed. I wish you were still here. Ethan and I talk of you often. You'll always be a part of our lives. You'll always be in our heart.

All my love,

Fatima