Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Another year has come and gone. And once again, it was a busy exciting year. Here's what you missed.

December
Ethan joined the Little Theatre's Pantomime production again this year. He had many smaller parts, but his big piece was playing a rat. His costume was unbelievably hot. Am sure he lost a few kilos with the costume and being under the hot lights.

December also means Christmas. This year, we decided to go home. It's been 5 years since we had Christmas in Canada. It was also the coldest Christmas in almost 10 years. Not sure why it picked this year to be so cold. We spent time in Ottawa with Rasool and the family, and we made great use of your condo. New Year's Eve, Karim and family, and Karima and family came over. We all went for dinner, then came home to hang out. All the boys had sleeping bags in the living room. It was great to wake up New Year's day surrounded by family. You and mum always said the way you start your year, is how you'll end your year. So we began the New Year surrounded by love. Good to know love is what we'll have all year. 

January

Afraaz came to visit Dar and taught a couple classes at school. He then performed a concert over the lunch break. 

February

Exciting news. Remember how I went back to Harvard in the summer. Well, I spoke to the dean of Project Zero about their online courses, and this month I have begun working for them! I am an online coach for their Visible Thinking course!

March

You missed a milestone this month. Scott turned 50! Can you believe it? 

Ethan decided he wanted to try skiing, so off to Switzerland, he went, on his own, well with some schoolmates. He had a great time and didn't break any bones!

This month, one of your nieces became an author! Faiza wrote and self-published a book. It's fantastic. Tell all your friends to get one. They can order theirs here. 

April

April was a little sadder. Scott and Rehanna's house caught on fire. They have been living with Shelina since then. Could you pull a few strings there and ensure their home is finished in time for Khaled's birthday? Thanks

April was also Kids Rock time. This year I wrote the script for Peter Pan. I also directed it. Ethan was my Captain Hook, and as usual, he was fantastic!

May

This month, Scott and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and Hailey turned 5. You were missed on both occasions. 

This month also brought some changes. Scott accepted a new position, so we learnt we were leaving Dar and heading back to Lusaka, Zambia. 

May also meant that your other granddaughter graduated high school. Imaan is off to BC come fall. You were greatly missed by her and everyone else at her graduation.

June

June meant packing up our house in Dar, and then Ethan and I headed to Canada. Mum was already there, and Rasool and fam came to visit. We all had breakfast at Rashida Aunty's. Can't remember when we were all together. 

July

Ethan turned 12 this month. Can you believe I will be the mother of a teenager next year? We spent the day at the beach with the cousins, followed by dinner with the Maneks. It was a perfect day.

July was also didar in Portugal. Mum went with Massi. They then went to Spain. It was good she got a bit of a holiday. But, once again, you were missed. 

July also means Theatre Camp for Ethan. This year they put on Aladdin. When Ethan was in the fifth grade, they put on a production of Aladdin. Ethan wanted to play Jafar, but as you may recall, he got the part of Aladdin. Well, this time his dream came true. And what an amazing Jafar he was! Once again, he was thrilled the Manek's were able to attend. 

August

This month brought new adventures. We moved to Zambia and Ethan started school here and Rasool went on a family vacation. They keep promising to come to visit us, but they opted to head to the East Coast this year. 

September

Our family grew this month as Amin-Mohammed became a dad. Welcome, Kin Jamani. We're thrilled to have the Jamani name continue!

September wasn't good weather in Ottawa. They had a tornado and the power went off. Some people didn't have power for nearly a week. Now, while I'm aware that those of us used to Dar life are used to this, Rasool and the rest of the city were not. So please, could you keep an eye on them, and make sure they don't have to deal with this again? Thanks.

October

Zambia is ok. It's taken some time for Ethan and me to settle here. I'm not teaching at the school, but I found an amazing NGO, Chance4All. They help get sponsorship for the kids of Bauleni so they can attend school. Every Wednesday we meet with the children and help with tutoring, homework, exam studying or reading. I'm working as their Reading Specialist. I love it. Wednesday's is my favourite day of the week. 

November

Ethan took part in the school play. The theatre teacher was putting on a production of Fame Jr. The high schoolers were given the leads, but Ethan's teacher was quite impressed with him that she wrote a part for him. He stole the show. You'd be proud. 

So I had grandiose plans to post this yesterday, on the anniversary of you leaving us, but I had a very busy day and planned to post it in the evening. However, the power went off, but that just means I can share with you how my day yesterday went. 

Remember how I told you I started working for an NGO. Well, every Wednesday we meet at the Bauleni Special Needs School. Some of our students go here. But we use their conference room to work with the kids. Yesterday we had a Giving Back Campaign. We fed 700 children and arranged for small Christmas presents for each child. You were definitely there, watching over us.

I miss you, dad. Not a day goes by I don't think of you. 

With love

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Another year has passed. So much has happened. Our family has grown. There's a lot of excitement and changes. But the one thing that's the same, is you're not here. You're missing out on these things. And that still bothers me. I was never given the chance to say good bye. That still bothers me. I still get upset by that. I still think you should be here for us. And, this year, I am still on my mission to recap the year, and tell you everything you've missed!

January
January was the beginning of the baby year. We learnt that Faiza and Earvin were having another boy. (Thanks for that, by the way. Am pretty sure I asked you to pull some strings and give this family a cute little girl.) Haseena threw Rehanna and Scott a baby shower. They asked for books to start a library for the little one. You were on my mind an awful lot this month, so I bought the baby a book from you. I remember how much you loved to read to me, and talk about books and stories. I recall you especially like those true-touches-your-heart kind of books too. So this is the book I got them, from you. Hope it's ok.

So, in January, Donald Trump was sworn in as president of the United States. While I won't go into details about this, I thought I'd share with you, how much your stories, the stories of your family have influenced and shaped our lives. One of the first things that happened during Trump's first week, as a ban on Muslims from certain countries to enter the US. Because of this, many people were stranded in Canada. Karim opened his home to anyone who was stranded and needed a place to stay. If you click on his image, you'll see the article.

February

Back in September, Ethan auditioned for the primary school play. This is the first time since we've been back in Dar that the primary campus has put on a show. Ethan got the lead as Aladdin. There were three performances. He was great. Wish you were here to see it. Your grandson can sing! Not sure who he inherited that from. Mum came to watch the final show. We are all so proud.

On Friday February 24, baby Malik Abel Venzant made his grand entrance into the world. He was eager to meet everyone, and decided to come early (27 weeks).  

March

March 6th saw your niece become a grandmother. Your great niece become a mother. Rehanna gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Meet Khaled.

Shaheen came to visit mum this month as well. Mum took her for kebabs and they went to Zanzibar. One evening they saw an incredibly large star. They both say they felt you with them. Thank you for joining them in Zanzibar.

Did I mention how incredibly positive your niece Faiza is? She's amazing. Even Scott admires her positive outlook. In March, a month after Malik was born, someone asked Faiza how he was doing. Her response is beautiful;

"Malik is taking baby steps everyday and growing and learning to breathe on his own. He's got pouty lips and long limbs and I think after this start at life, he may be a future marathon runner. He works hard and paces himself and is in it for the long haul."

April

For the last 6 weeks, Ethan and 3 other classmates have been working hard at school. It's final X time. The students join into groups based on their passions, they come up with a central idea, lines of inquiry, they interview experts and research their topic. Ethan and his group looked into the performing arts. The final element of the PYPX is action. Ethan and his mates decided to put on a show at the Children's Cancer Ward at Muhimbili Hospital. Oh dad, you would have loved it. I hope you saw it. It made my heart melt. 

May

For the last few years, Ethan has been a part of the Little Theatre's Kids Rock production. He really enjoys it. This year was no exception. Once again, I helped out. This year I wrote the script and directed. But Ethan's the star. He's been taking voice lessons too. You can really see the improvement in this video.

May was also a great month for Faiza and Earvin. Thank you for watching over Malik. He came home this month. 

June
June brought the end of the school year. And this year, the end of the school year meant the end of an era. Ethan graduated from the PYP. Which means, come August, I will officially be the mother of a Middle Schooler! Yikes

July

Ethan turned 11 this month. Rasool and the family came for the weekend, and Rehanna and fam, and Nabeel and Emily joined us for his birthday breakfast. We called mum in the afternoon. You were greatly missed. 

July also meant Ethan returned to theatre camp. This year's production was Hairspray and Ethan played the role of Seaweed. 

While Ethan attended camp, I got some time on my own. 

One night, I dreamt of you. We went to the Cheesecake Factory, ate cheesecake and chatted. It was a weird dream, as we never went out for dessert. Not just the two of us. And there's no Cheesecake Factory in Toronto. (At least not yet). 

Then one day, I decided to stay in the Square One area, while Ethan was at camp. There's this dessert place across the street, and I've never been in. I decided to give it a try.

Well, I walk in and am greeted by the owner/manager. He reminded me of you. 

Then, as I look over the scrumptious menu, I noticed that some cheesecakes had a little asterisk. Looking down, I see that these cheesecakes are Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes. 

Well, needless to say, I have found my perfect spot. Thank you. 

I also made a point of leaving one bite behind, so you could have your piece.

If you remember, two years ago I applied to attend a summer program at Harvard. I applied again this past winter and got accepted. So July was an exciting month, ending with me returning to Boston. Registration took place in the Law School, and my study group was also there, so I'd like to say "I went to Harvard Law School"! This time around, I got to talk to a lot of faculty members, so it was incredibly exciting. 

And since it was the year of babies, we got to spend some time with some!

August

August means back to school. Ethan has moved to the secondary campus. Can you believe it? He's in middle school!

September

September was a month of Ethan being a risk-taker. First, he set off for a 3-day camping trip to South Beach. He had a great time. You can read about his adventure here. Later, he auditioned for a solo singing part in a music concert to be held next month. Unfortunately he didn't get it, and was utterly gutted, but if he hopes to pursue theatre, he's got to get use to rejection and take it as a learning moment. Hopefully he'll not let this disappointment steer him away from his passion.

September also marked Bahadur Papa's 80th birthday. While we missed the party, I thought you'd like a picture. 

October

October was steady. Ethan was enjoying school. I got some more hours, and am still enjoying it. We started Wednesday dinners with mum, but then I got involved in a play at the Little Theatre and had rehearsals, so we switched it to Sunday breakfast. 

As you may know, Minaz is our family environmentalist. I like to think we do a decent job with recycling and thinking about our planet, but she puts us to shame. In fact, she won Environmentalist of the Year! woohoo! You can see it all here. 

November

Ethan's had a few firsts this month. Who would've thought an 11-year old would experience firsts! But yes, he had his first Middle School dance (and got all dressed up) and his first G6 field trip. This year they headed to Zanzibar for a week. Five days. No phone allowed. Because of rehearsals, my evenings were busy, so it wasn't too bad, but am glad to have him back home. 

Ethan and Jaiden, heading to the dance.

Me, in one of the plays.

Ethan and Avery, back from Zanzibar

December

The month has just started, but already we know it will be an exciting one. Ethan has once again joined the Little Theatre's Pantomine production. Scott and I will go watch later this week. I'm really excited as I'm not a part of it this year, and have no idea what to expect. Except pure talent from Ethan.

Ethan in one costume. He apparently also plays a rat. 

Yesterday there was carol singing, to get us in the Christmas spirit. Ethan was asked to read a poem. That meant for 30 seconds, Ethan was in the spotlight. Of course he loved that. 

There's still so much more happening this month. The Nisbet clan is heading home this Christmas. First Canadian Christmas in 5 years. And then there's a whole new year ahead of us. But you won't be here. For any of that. 

I wish you were here.

But I know, even though you may not be here with us in physical form, you're with us in spirit. Please keep watching over us. It's good to know we have our own personal angel.

Love always,

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I'm so sorry I did not post last month. It was not because I don't think of you, cos I do. Often. But I had a hard time writing it, and it never seemed right, and I wasn't happy with how it looked or sounded. And well, as we all know, when I'm stuck, I give up. But, mum always use to say, "The way you start your year, influences how the year will go." So I'm stating off the year right, with my letter to you.

Better late than never, I suppose.

I don't want you to think I don't miss you. Because I do. Everyday. And while I'm not quite as angry as I was last year, I'm a lot sadder. Mainly I'm sad because you have two amazing grandchildren growing up into amazing human beings, and you're missing it.

Ethan is in the fifth grade. Which means in May he will graduate from primary school. Next year he starts middle school, so he will be on the secondary campus. Can you believe it? I can't.

Ethan still loves drama. This past year, he has been in three shows. He was in Kids Rock at the Little Theatre, he played Captain Hook at theatre camp and he was in the Christmas show at the Little Theatre. He's also currently in rehearsals for the school musical. He plays the lead character in Aladdin. He's really into the whole drama/acting/theatre thing. He's continuing with guitar lessons, has joined the school band and choir and wants to start voice lessons this year.

But asides from the acting thing, he's doing well in school too. His teacher says he's got a lot of empathy in him. This year, he helped another student with her reading and fluency and wrote a script for his class assembly. He's also doing well in Maths. Scott says he gets that from him, but I think he gets that from you. Ethan's also taken a leadership role at school. During the first semester, he lead an after school activity, Rock Climbing Club. He was really good. You'd be proud. Ethan's been gobbling books this past year, like they're going out of style. This Christmas, 80% of his gifts were books.

Speaking of Christmas, we went to London this year. We got to spend some time with Shireen. She ended up spoiling Ethan. It's quite possible she bought him more gifts than we did. 

Not sure if you know, but Minaz works for Parks Ontario, or Toronto, or something along those lines. Yup, she's not going to be impressed I've messed that up. But my point is, this summer, while in Toronto, she, Karim and Kahzmir took Ethan to some wonderful events in different parks. One of the things Kahzmir and Ethan did was join an outdoor workshop on game designs. Ethan loved it, that we made sure to go back into the city the following weekend so he could continue. The children invented new games, refined them, came up with rules and tried them out. If you have wifi, please check them out here.  (See....it's these things that break my heart that you're missing.)

Speaking of the Kanji's. Karim had a podcast. I'll admit I haven't listened to them all (he's not going to be impressed that I just admitted to that), but the ones I've heard are fantastic. I can honestly say I've learnt a lot from them. You always believed we should keep up with the ages. Karim embodies that. And he uses it for good. (I'm making him sound like a super hero.) If you can, please take a listen to it here. 

Faiza is another one who I see a little of you in. She organized a cousins' get-together over Christmas. For Qayam's first birthday, she asked friends and family to write him a letter, and the plan is to give it to him on his 18th birthday. The idea reminded me of the letter you wrote me on my 1st birthday that I got on my 21st. I know if you were here, you'd write Qayam a five page letter, filled with history and advice and love. I can only hope I've represented you well in my letter to him. Faiza also has this incredible ability to see the good in everyone and everything. I definitely need to spend more time with her when am home. She makes me want to be a better person, and not such a negative ninny. She is most certainly a reminder of what you held near and dear, and of your greatest qualities. She's an amazing mother. You would love Qayam. And guess what, she's expecting another bundle of joy this summer.

Speaking of babies, I'm incredibly upset that you're missing out on an amazing opportunity. Rehanna is about to become a mum. Yes, your great niece is having a baby. That means you could've been a great great uncle! We don't know the sex of the baby yet (well at least she hasn't shared with me), but if you have any pull, we could use some more girls in this family. There are an awful lot of boys! 

Keeping with the Manek family, Haseena is in Wales this year, finishing her Masters. This summer, the Manek family took Ethan to the aquarium for his birthday. Ethan bought a stuffed animal which later that evening went missing. Haseena went back to the aquarium to buy him a new one.  She is incredible. But you already knew that. Nabeel is beyond amazing. Ethan had a rough time at the beginning of the school year. And he really wouldn't open up to Scott or I. But he and Nabeel email each other constantly. He's the big brother Ethan doesn't have. And I know as long as Nabeel is an email, or text message away, Ethan will never be alone. He's found himself someone trustworthy to rely on, to give him advice and help him through the tough times. And I cannot be more grateful for that. He may be the quietest one in the family, but he is a true gem. Shelina and Akhter continue to be the rocks we need. When Ethan and I are in the city, they check on us, and their door is always open. It reminds me of growing up, where that house was always open and the fridge could always be raided. It's nice to know Ethan can walk in there, hang out, eat and relax. And when mum's in town, Shelina always checks in on her too.

Shelina could use you to watch over. The last few months have been rough. I know Papa is there with you. His passing was hard on her (and mum). She then lost her grandmother. She's always been there for me, and I feel like I need to be there for her, but am so far away. 

Rasool continues to amaze me. He is so you. I know I've said that before, but it's true. I always thought I took after you and he after mum. But I am most definitely mum, while he is you. He is calm, rational, prioritizes family and does not hold a grudge. I really could learn a lot from him!!! Hayley is the cutest. She's funny and has developed a unique personality. I cannot wait to see what trouble she causes Rasool! She has him wrapped around her finger, and it makes me giggle when he tells me how he's given her a time out. Like you did when I was young, he sits with her at breakfast. Like mum, he encourages her to help him cook, and she is not a picky eater. Think Ethan needs to spend more time with her. Not only are you missing out on seeing your granddaughter grow up, but you are also missing seeing your son grow. I know you constantly worried about him. But there was no need. He is a mature, incredible young man. He knows that family is the measure of a man's wealth. 

I still do not understand why you had to leave us. There's so much you're missing out on, and I cannot believe you would willingly want to leave us. But I know you were there for Papa, and that brings me some comfort. Maybe I'm finally growing up?

Love you lots. Miss you loads,

Meet Shelina

It's been ages since I've blogged. It's hight time I return. I do miss blogging. And so I've decided to share with you, some of the important people in my life. People other than Scott and Ethan, whom you all know.

This gorgeous lady is my first cousin, Shelina.  I have many. Possibly too many. But she's an important one. The thing is, when I was growing up we weren't close. She was a teenager and I was a child. What could we possibly have in common? Then she went off to university, met the man of her dreams, got married and had kids (you'll meet them later). 

I recall her and her husband taking my brother out to the Ex in Toronto. He would win all kinds of stuffed animals for us. We always had a blast with them.

But over the last few years, we've gotten closer. Her whole family has been great with Ethan, Scott and I. We look forward to seeing them when we go home. It's one of our highlights. 

She's someone who I can sit around the kitchen table with and pour my heart out.

She's someone who I can sir around the kitchen table with and we say nothing.

She's someone I can tell my hopes and dreams to.

She's someone who will listen to my fears and never judge.

She's always there.

She's got 3 amazing, all grown up, kids. And I'm often envious of the relationship between the two sisters. But then I realized, I have a sister too. 

Thanks Shelina for always being there. It's great to know